the Kreddible Trout (part of the) World Tour 2010

here is a depository, a log book, a history lesson on
The Kreddible Trout (part of the) World Tour 2010.
I've decided to compile all the stories from that trip in one spot that will be easier to navigate. Chronologically, instead of backwards and all over the place like my 'other' blog had it. This trip was wonderful and filled with interesting stories about even more interesting people and places. Some pretty lame stories, but a lot of pretty good ones too. Like Chinese chicken salad... that was a good one.
And Hurricane Tera... she was out of this world. Oh, and I saw people who thought they were rock stars and rock stars who thought they were people.
And 'Geek' from infomercial fame! (That was a shocker!)
Seriously, a lot of good reads and fun pictures... so... y'know... checkitoutcheckitoutchekitoutcheckitout!

21 February 2010

Have Art. Will Travel

Thus begins another chapter in the odd little saga of Kreddible Trout. Yes folks in a month’s time yours truly will be stuffing a bunch of art in the trunk of The Troutmobile, setting the compass to wobble southward and heading off next to the sunset. A little like the gunslinger alluded to in the title of this piece but with art and a camera instead of a deck of cards and a pistol.

Departing from: Victoria BC.

Destination: San Diego CA.

Specifically the Mission Federal Artwalk in San Diego California

At the encouragement of the art connoisseur and marginal maniac Colonel John (no real rank, it’s an Elvis reference) who commissioned and contrived on this piece, I am embarking on something that we hope will end in my buying him a pink Cadillac to justify the title I just gave him.

The story goes:

Col. J. - Hey Trout, thanks for the yummy-yummy art! I really love it!

Trout – No problemmo crazy man! It was a lot of fun.

Col. J. - Bye for now.

Trout – Bye for now.

——— a day passes ———

Col. J. - Hey Trout. I have an idea.

Trout – Uh-oh.

Col. J. - Yeah, I know. So, your stuff is the King’s knickers y’know?

Trout – um… I’m not sure…

Col. J. - It’s great. It’s cooler than Fonzie on ice and I know art savvy people will buy it up like hotcakes.

Trout – Hotcakes eh…?

Col. J. - Hotcakes. Stay with me Troutie.

Trout – Right. So what’s the idea?

Col. J. - There’s this huge, two day art spectacle here where I live in sunny San Diego called Artwalk where 130 000 hungry art consumers go every year looking to sink their teeth into yummy-yummy art! Kinda like yours! They buy stuff there. I’ve bought stuff there. You need to be there and sell your art because I think it’s good enough to be there. What do you say?

Trout – Where do we begin?

…and the plan was hatched. Ideas flowed like rambling metaphors though a bad writer’s keyboard and the plan (thus far) is this:

Get in the Troutmobile on March 19th & travel down the coast over 7 days to take in the experience and gather supplies, meeting friends along the way. The ‘supplies’ are the things I use to build my ‘uniquely mounted’ pieces ( like old trap doors, frames, tennis racket presses and old utensil drawers… you name it, I use it) . I’ll be interacting with shop owners and get some stories to incorporate into the trophy piece of this extravaganza which Col. J. is calling a ‘living history art piece’ (which I love the sound of). When I get there I stay with The J’s and, over the next 4 weeks, create the pieces for the Artwalk Festival in his garage. (alternately we may find a shopfront in San Diego for me to use as a studio before the show, we’re still looking into it) For the show I’ll have a mix of pieces, some ‘uniquely mounted’, some large limited edition prints, and hopefully the centerpiece will be the living history deal. I will be documenting the journey as I go right here on the old blog for those following at home.

The plan is to sell a crap-load of art and create a one-of-a-kind experience. In an ideal world, we sell a world of art and Kreddible Trout Photography gets rocketed into super-stardom (that kinda thing happens all the time in SoCal.) and I get a full page layout in Cigar Aficionado and become photographer to the stars and Col. J. gets a pink Cadillac. In a more optimistically realist world, we make back our investment, have an awesome time and I get some awesome publicity. In a horrible world I wander into a rumble between ninjas, pirates, The Crips and The Bloods and get shredded into coleslaw on which they all feast.

So, that’s the big news. We here at Kreddible Trout Photographic Industries are very excited about this new scheme. It seems just crazy enough to fit us perfectly. (‘crazy enough’ meaning the ‘we’ we speak of all the time is me, alone in my tiny office with my toy collection) I hope to be doing some impromptu fundraising events on the way involving selling photos and maybe doing a performance or two (we may see if this William Foley character will come along to do some acting). If any of y’all down the coast have any ideas or want to lend a hand to an impoverished traveling artist… please email me.

Please everyone check back here often as this will be Kreddible Trout International Headquarters for the next little while. Tell your friends, family and even enemies as I’m hoping for as large a network as I can manage to get as many people to the show as possible. If you blog, link to me. Let’s get this puppy rolling!

Southern California… here I come. (hahahaha! This is crazy!)

Posted by Kreddible Trout at 11:12 AM, Feb 21, 2010

26 February 2010

NEWS - TOUR DATES

Ok, so… as I’m trying to connect e-friends I’ve made on the information super-highway and meet up with them on the real life highway (Victoria to Portland via the 5 and Route 101 the rest of the way) to see if they really exist, I need to let them know when and where I’ll be. As well, I’ll be selling art out of my trunk to help support the trip so I hope to see streams of welcome wagons flashing fist-fulls of cash all along the way. (…if the real world is half as entertaining as the one in my head, I’ll have a great time.)
So here’s the itinerary which is not-as-subject-to-change as you’d expect with me because some very generous friends of Col. John (& supporters of the Tour du Trout) are to be putting me up for nights in various places. There may be some variation especially after the first San Fran night, but as of now it’s as follows:

March 19th - Leave Victoria via ferry to Seattle. End the day in Portland.
March 20th - Portland to Rockaway Beach (so I can sit there and listen to Rockaway Beach by the Ramones) & then on down Route 101 to somewhere around North Bend OR.
March 21 - North Bend-ish to Arcata CA. Staying 2 nights.
March 22 - Some form of Art Show/Performance Deal in Arcata. Spend the night.
March 23 - Arcata CA - San Fransisco. (potential for 2 nights there. If so, it’ll be changed here)
March 24 - San Fransisco CA - Camarillo CA. (if no 2 nights in San Fran, maybe 2 nights here. I mean… it’s LA!)
March 25 (or whatever) - Camarillo/LA area - San Diego. Arrive at Col. J’s. Take a nap.

I’ve begun contacting my e-friends and e-peers but if you see this and want to be part of the fiasco or have some advice about where I can sell my ‘tawdry wares’ and/or do some performances (monologue/performance stuff) please feel free to email me at trout@kreddibletrout.com

Still working on the satin tour jackets. We’ll let you know as soon as the 70s call us back.

Posted by Kreddible Trout at 12:10 PM, Feb 26, 2010

04 March 2010

NEWS - THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

I guess two weeks makes it an unnecessarily long final countdown… but I couldn’t resist sticking that song in your heads. You’ll thank me for it once you stop being annoyed by it and start giggling about it. Should be riiiight aboooooouuuut…… now.

ok… so now back to the NEWS part of things. As mentioned above, in exactly two weeks from now the KREDDIBLE TROUT (part of the) WORLD TOUR 2010 officially begins. Planning is going swimmingly on both my and Col. J’s end.

to fill in some gaps:

1) Col. John has been working on procuring a shopfront for me to work out of when I’m down there. This will act as both a workshop/studio and the promotional epicenter for Kreddible Trout Industries, Southern California Division. The intent is to evoke curiosity from passersby who would be forced to ask themselves, ‘what’s that lunatic with the weird hat doing with all those photos and old closet doors? Is he impersonating Elvis all alone in there now? Someone should do something!’
This shopfront is still in the works but we’re hoping with Col J’s pull and some massive generosity from some folks in California, something will happen soon on that front.

2) REALLY BIG NEWS just texted this evening… Col. J and his magical mystery networking skills have booked Kreddible Trout in a certain still-too-soon-to-mention-officially-but-apparently-pretty-swank performance/visual arts gallery for one night! The term ‘cocktail party’ has been mentioned and (as I don’t know that i’ve ever really been to one… I like corn chips and root beer) being the focus of one is sure to be a surreal experience. One of my favorite kinds!
"Hey Fancypants! Get your crudités off’a there! That’s art, y’know! Oh, no wait, that is a table… my bad. Carry on!"

3) Is there a three? There must be. Oh yes! The TOUR part of the tour is shaping up nicely with several meetings in the works. One being in Portland where I’m trying to hook up with some old e-friends form the JPGmag early days (lo… those many years ago! four years seems like an eternity in the internet) and some members of the now defunct 15x100 group. These are some photo-peers who I really respect and really look forward to meeting up with. I hope it turns out.

Speaking of turning out… I have to do that to the lights now and get some shut-eye.

Please keep coming by and checking things out here. The afforementioned Gallery will be announced very soon. With links and everything! I love my links! Yes I do.

Posted by Kreddible Trout at 11:54 PM, March 4, 2010

13 March 2010

NEWS - THE ‘FINAL’ FINAL COUNTDOWN

As last weeks countdown was a little premature to be truly considered ‘final’ I’ve decided that now, with less than a week before liftoff would be a little more appropriate. KT of the future is waking up in Portland right about a week from now and starting to think about coffee having begun his journey a week and a day ago… wow, this is more complicated than Quantum Leap.
Anyway.
Some news. Yesterday I had my first conversation with our contact at the aforementioned gallery (I think I mentioned it somewhere below…) and the Closing Night Gala is pretty much confirmed. The Gala is set to happen on the last night of Artwalk at the Sushi Performance and Visual Art Gallery in San Diego and will involve both visual and performance from yours truly. As I have tinkered with the idea of doing some pass-the-hat fundraising events on the way down to San Diego with me doing a bit of one-man-show-performance-type-stuff I thought I’d add a bit of that to the closing night. Details still need to be worked out, but it should be an interesting night. It’ll be a wine and cheese and chocolate and rootbeer event, so… wear a tie and a clown nose.
Other news. I’m about to do my last 12 hour day of working two jobs and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy about that. Now I can devote all my time to making sure everything is secured here on the homefront, in the Troutmobile, in San Diego and that my accommodations down the coast are confirmed.

Now’s the time when I’m going to be triple checking everything I need before I go. If anyone has and suggestions or advice as to things I may be forgetting on my trip or information I may need to look into before I go, please lemme know. (Trout, don’t forget to wear pants.)

off to work! peace out y’all!

Posted by Kreddible Trout at 8:24 AM, March 13, 2010

16 March 2010

NEWS - OVER THE MOUNTAIN

This struck me last week and then got filed in the ‘no time to think about that now’ pile and forgotten about. Sometimes my head & life get so busy that I forget about the things that drive me. The important things.

On January 1st my fiancee and I moved back to the city. We found a beautiful little apartment with big windows. These big windows look out (over the shell station) towards the Olympic Mountains in Washington State. It’s quite a nice view (ignoring the shell station) and that poor, disregarded thought last week was ‘I’m going to be in them mountains soon!’ and I love that feeling. It’s presents under a christmas tree, that feeling. The anticipation is like the day after a good first date.

In three days I’ll be well over those mountains.

I’d be mad at myself for forgetting about that thought, but I don’t have the time. I’ll put that in the ‘forget about it entirely’ file.

Posted by Kreddible Trout at 7:12 PM, March 16, 2010

18 March 2010

NEWS - THE INCONTROVERTIBLE COUNTDOWN!

Ok… no really this time. This is the most finalist of countdowns that you could get. Serious. In 12 hours I’ll be in a line up for the ferry to Seattle. I don’t know where the Customs aspect of it all is, if it’s on the other side or if they get that business out of the way before you get on the boat so… 12 hours from now I’ll either be in customs trying really hard not to make any jokes or waiting in a line of cars thinking really hard about all the jokes I won’t be telling customs officials. (Oscar Wilde wouldn’t last one week in this day and age without being arrested.)
At 8am The Troutmobile will be loaded to the gills with art and clothes and the occasional clown nose and rubber chicken and I’ll be ingesting my seventh coffee of the morning. (I’ve already had people expressing interest in a few pieces… things’r lookin good already!)
Look out USA! Kreddible Trout is coming to play! (wow… that was even too cheesy for me. Maybe I’ll get a job in Hollywood writing one liners for Bruce Willis…)

Posted by Kreddible Trout at 9:37 PM, March 18, 2010

20 March 2010

NEWS - DAY ONE Victoria BC to Portland OR.

7:00am - Trout’s alarm goes off.
7:02am – Trout’s coffee goes on.
7:03am – Trout wonders why he’s naked in the kitchen again.
7:04am – Trout smells coffee brewing and remembers to begin his day.

8:34 am - Much to his surprise, The Troutmobile is packed and ready to roll only 4 minutes behind schedule.




At this time I’d like to mention that this would not have been possible without the help of the incredible support staff here at Kreddible Trout Industries (my wonderful fiancee Michelle)

and we’re ready to roll!

… after KTPI’s support staff mentions that he’s pointing East, the car is pointed west and Trout is actually headed south, things become more clear and it’s off to the ferry.

After some sad but excited goodbyes, my support staff leaves me to deal with US Customs on my own and goes in search of the rest of her sleep. Customs was as uninteresting as you could hope. No latex gloves. No threat of latex gloves. And, about 45 minutes late… the ferry leaves.

Next stop: Ferry food. I was hoping for something good-ish… passable… ferry food….I wasn’t expecting this:




                   …it was……… chewy.

The ferry ride was pretty nice and I got to see a side of Victoria that I’d never seen before. We both blushed but were ok with it. The picture of which is pretty boring, so I won’t share it.

This one is not much better, but it’s the opposite of the view I have from Victoria so… I like it. Mount Doug is on the left there. Taken from Port Angeles.

And then I hit the road. Finding roadside burgers and out-to-pasture photo booths as is my wont.



This trip holds many firsts for me. My first solo road trip. The first time I’ve been this far south. I think, of all the firsts on this trip, one is very important to me: my first Jack in the Box meal. They do things differently down here but I wasn’t quite ready to use the Jack in the Box self-serve machine. I’m old fashioned, I like to be totally disregarded as a customer by an actual person. Not a machine.


The meal was… it was fast food. I was hungry and ordered the large meal… they fries were a decent size and they gave me a large plastic barrel to put my pop in. Had I had filled it, I would have needed help getting it to the table.

next stop: Portland.

I must return to Portland. I was there for only about 18 hours all told, but I think I may have fallen in love. It’s a very interesting city. And I met some interesting people. An online photo-friend from way back in the teen years of JPGmag named Matt Adamik put me up on his inflatable mattress in his living room and was a great host. We swapped stories of other online peers talked a little shop. Then we went out to meet up with some friends of his and had a good time at a tremendously boring bar. If it wasn’t for the awesome company… well, I’d still have found a way to amuse myself, but I would have looked a bit more nuts than usual. the folks in the picture below are Photographer and Flophouse Owner Matt Adamik, Pin-up model extraordinaire Dottie Diamond, Pin-up Photographer extraordinaire Emily Rinard, Photographer & Sporter of the Fonzie Jacket Jason Allen.


We spent the entire night twittering on our smartphones! It was, like, SO much fun!

Then the DJ decided to clear the place out so we said our goodbyes, exchanged business cards and all went home. If I come back, I’d love to be able to work with these folks. They seem to be some of the rare exceptions to the rule that photographers have to be pretentious tits who compare ‘gear’ like it was a measure of talent or sexual virility. They were cucumber cool and not at all full of themselves. More reason to like Portland.

Now, at the end of day two, in Newport, I must get some sleep. We’ll catch up to here tomorrow night.

TROUT OUT!

Posted by Kreddible Trout at 10:18 PM, March 20, 2010

22 March 2010

NEWS - DAY TWO. NOT WANTING TO LEAVE PORTLAND, LEAVING PORTLAND, THRIFTY SIDETRACKS, ROCKAWAY BEACH CLOSURE, CHINESE FOOD AND DIRTY MOTEL ROOMS.

[log date: late on March 21 about March 20th]
In the morning Matt took me to the Portland Artist’s Market (I think that’s what it was called) where I discovered even more of this awesome city. As if I needed more reason to not want to leave. I was thrilled to meet another old JPGmag contact Maria Tizon whom I’ve been e-friends with for several years now I think. Probably as long as Matt and I have been contacts. As well as Michelle Spokely-Lane (thanks again for the cookie) and Dan (possibly Dan The Man..?). Again we talked shop and I did the best I could to keep up with conversations being as distracted as I was. Apparently I was also distracted enough to pull the most amusing novice error in the photo I took of the market gang. Note the antlers. left to right: (name to be disclosed later), Maria Tizon, Michelle Spokely-Lane (thanks again for the cookie) and Matt Adamik.


Then, with a belly full of cookie, coffee and breakfast shawarma (no such thing in real life, it’s just what you call a shawarma that is eaten in lieu of bacon & eggs. It is not advisable.) I was off! I had a date with the coast and I was late. So, onto highway 26 with my sights set for Rockaway Beach. Nothing was going to stop me! I was already behind but was determined to make up time! About 30 minutes towards the 101 I saw this place… need I say more?



I could have spent hours in there. I opted for just 45 minutes and walked away with a few frames for my project (one of which is seen with Patty the nice lady who let me wander around taking pictures in the store) and a $12 Brownie Camera.

(I could have photoshopped that wire out of there… but it’s 1am and I need to finish this.)
A motorcyclist who was in the shop was telling us that there was all sorts of traffic on the 101 as it was Spring Break, a fantastic day and there was some motorbike show out there. He said the beaches were very busy and that I’d have a lot of photo ops. I hopped in the Troutmobile and was off!

… About a half hour from the 101 the weather shifted with blatant spite from fantastically sunny to dismally rainy and the traffic the motorcyclist told me about turned out to be a parade of gloomy vehicles flowing back towards the city.
I didn’t care. I wasn’t in it for the beach volleyball, the tan lines or the drinking contests… I was on a serious mission. Destination: Rockaway Beach.
As some of you may have known, one of the main purposes of this trip for me was to go to Rockaway Beach and listen to Rockaway Beach by the Ramones. I am happy to report that mission accomplished. Please see video log:

(video has vanished. just imagine an excited idiot in a car parked on a rainy beach singing along with The Ramones ‘Rockaway Beach’… you get this picture)

The drive along the coast, despite the really messy weather was really pretty fantastic. If I was able to I would stop in each and every one of those towns for at least a day. They all fascinate me. The goal was to get to North Bend but I only made it as far as Newport as it was late and the driving was pretty horrid. 8:30pm I checked into a $36-a-night dive Motel (I’m a sucker for stained carpets & leaky faucets) where I ate bad Chinese food (General Tao tasted more like a Colonel to me… Colonel Saunders with red sauce on it to be precise), wrote the post just below this one and passed the hell out. The latter, at the end of this third day I am about to repeat on a couch here in Arcata CA.
Tomorrow I will catch up to where I am now as I will be here tomorrow night as well.
Wow… am I making any sense?

TROUT OUT!

Posted by Kreddible Trout at 12:04 AM, March 22, 2010

22 March 2010

NEWS - DAY THREE. BEACHSIDE BACON & EGGS, EAGER BEAVERS, MEETING SAM, MEAL MEDDLING MURPHY AND ARRIVING IN SCHWARTZENSTATE.

Packed up and ditched Motel la Rutt and went in search of breakfast.
The night before, when I checked in, the manager of the motel told me The Shilo Resort had a good breakfast. The whole thing was kind of weird actually. I had asked him of a good, reasonably priced restaurant. He kept pointing at the skylight and saying ‘The Shilo is good’. He was Japanese and his English was a bit choppy but I could understand him easily enough. What I couldn’t understand was why he kept pointing at the ceiling and talking about a restaurant that was clearly not up there. After the long drive that day, this added to my confusion.
Anyway.
Check in night the Shilo had closed ten minutes before I got to it (forcing me to settle for the aforementioned Colonel Tsao) so I was eager to try it for breakfast. Hopped in the car and headed around the corner. As I was pulling out of the parking lot I saw that, above the Motel la Rutt there was a sign, larger and more noticeable that their own, for the Shilo Resort with an arrow pointing towards the water. Then I pieced together that the manager said something about ‘we advertise for them’ and it was not actually the skylight he was pointing at, but what shone above it: the Shilo Resort sign.
This discovery allowed me to eat my bacon and eggs with a settled mind.
Breakfast had a great view looking out on the ocean and people flying kites next to it.


On my way out of town and with the reminder that part of the trip’s purpose is to lallygag, I saw another thrift store. The Eager Beaver. The name alone drew me in.


The gentleman behind the counter allowed me to take his photo despite his claim of being ‘on the lamb’ and in the witness protection program. He goes by the alias ‘Stephen’. I told him that it might be wise to stop telling people about being in the witness protection program. He somewhat dubiously agreed.



Then it was on to Florence where I was scheduled the day before to meet up with redbubbler Sam Dantone. Due to lallygaggin I had to move the meeting from day two to day three and told him I’d call him him when I arrived in town.

***We interrupt this blog entry to bring you A Tale of Murphy’s Law. When traveling through small towns you sometimes see restaurants that you think about stopping at, decide to see what else there is in town and before you know it the town is finished and you’ve missed your opportunity to eat. The knowledge that there is another town down the road encourages you to not pull a u-turn as there will likely be food there. Sometimes, after this happens several times in a row, desperation kicks in and you end up eating at Dairy Queen. Then when you contact a friend in a still further town, that friend says he’ll meet you at a restaurant that turns out to be the healthiest restaurant you’ve seen since beginning your roadtrip. Cous Cous, quinoa, organic this-and-that, soups, fresh local produce served by people who look happy and healthy. And your belly is still full of THE FLAMETHROWER (tm). In these situations the only way you can even mildly spite Murphy is to order the biggest carrot/ginger/apple juice you can.
********We interrupt this interruption to bring you a tale of Roller-Girl Condescension. At the above mentioned Dairy Queen, as I munched away on my THE FLAMETHROWER (tm) some truly cool cats walked in. They had on black satin jackets and tattoos and were way too cool for school. It was as though a reform school production of Grease just walked in. I read the back of one of the jackets and it indicated to me that these ladies (& their gentleman chaperon) might be a Roller Derby Team. I asked them, ‘Hey, are you guys a roller derby team?’ They said they were and I told them that I had something to show them. I went out to the car and pulled out the print of ‘derby girls’ and held it up to the window for them to see. They read it and seemed to mildly enjoy it. I put it back and went in to order a desert and maybe strike up a conversation with them. I’m doing my best to be social and encouraging all sorts of people to check out the blog and my website and just generally be a friendly guy. I didn’t want anything from them & I honestly don’t care if someone doesn’t like my art as it’s all just relative anyway, I was just amused by the idea that I could pull something so relevant out of the back seat of my car on such short notice. They didn’t seem as impressed by the coincidence. I think one of them may have liked it, but she might have felt like the rocker who’s got a dirty little Abba secret. I tried to instigate conversation and quickly began to feel like the kid in school who goes around asking people ‘do you want to be my friend?’. I just genuinely thought it was a neat bit of coincidence. One of them asked how much I was charging for it. I told them ‘three-fifty’ the response of ‘oh, three dollars and fifty cents? yeah, I’ll take it for that.’ as she brushed by me to get a really cool straw for her drink. That was when I decided to just order my dipped cone and leave these kids to the cool plane of existence they seemed to think they were on. ‘We’re the Hobbs Bay roller girls man! You can’t even talk to us!’

*********** we interrupt those interruptions to bring you back to the blog!

So, after all that was when I met Sam at Nature’s Corner Cafe. It was a much nicer meeting. Sam is an incredibly talented painter who I connected with on redbubble. His work has a harsh edge to it which I really like and is in real contrast to him as a person. From his work I was expecting a more jaded angry person and discovered a very generous, soft-spoken guy. It’s like, expecting Johnny Rotten and getting Angella Landsbury. (Sorry Sam… you’re nothing like Angella Landsbury… I just got a real kick out of the allusion.) He showed me his sign shop (Treehouse Signs and Decorative Arts), his showroom (the entire town displays his signs so he calls the town his showroom.) and… and gave me a hand drawn ink piece. This was the coup de grace for his kindness. Really awesome guy. Here is a picture of him in his shop standing next to some of his awesome (yet sideways) art:




and here’s his pic of me!

Then it started pouring rain again so I took that as my cue that I should start driving again.

Wait a minute… everything is all mixed up. Dairy Queen and the Roller Girls happened AFTER I met with Sam! I was too full from breakfast at The Shilo in Newport to eat healthy… then Sam… then Dairy Queen,Murphy’s Law and Roller Girls…
Well… the story sound better the first way and I’m too far along to go and edit it all now so… y’all know I’ve been on the road for days, right? Cut a guy some slack would ya? Besides, embellishment is the cornerstone to good story telling and I could have just not told you at all! So… should I edit it? Nah, I stand by my laziness. It stays as is. What, like Shakespeare never fibbed! C’MON!

The drive, when the rain breaks, is spectacular. Here’s the Troutmobile showin us some fine lallygaggin form somewhere in Southern Oregon:



8:30-ish PM we arrive at the California border. There is a checkpoint there for produce and foodstuffs. There was an old-ish guy guarding it.
'All the way from downtown British Columbia, huh?'
'Yes sir, all the way from Downtown Victoria British Columbia!'
'Well well! You've come a long way. You have any fruits or vegetables in the car with you?'
'I have a chocolate bar.'
'Well then you can be on your way. You have a pleasant life, alright?'
'I will. And you too.'
'Thank you I will.'

All boarders should be that pleasant. It made me smile a wide one on California. Arrived in Arcata at 10pm. Met my billeter Bryan Osper, blogged a little blog and passed the hell out in my sleeping bag on his couch.

Posted by Kreddible Trout at 9:17 AM, March 22, 2010

23 March 2010

NEWS - DAY FOUR. ARCATA… A TIME FOR PAUSE




…man… where my bitches at?:






Posted by Kreddible Trout at 1:08 AM, March 23, 2010

24 March 2010

NEWS - DAY FIVE. MY BREAKFAST WITH BRYAN, BURGERTIME vs WILLPOWER & MY DINNER WITH RUSKYS

Day four was a write-off. No reason other than the fact that I needed a day to be sour. Car and internet troubles. Perhaps it’s age that allows me to (eventually) realize that being sour does me no real good & that I have the ability to add sugar to life’s lemonade & make it alright. Hence nothing but photos for day four’s entry.

Moving on.

Colonel John was vehement about me eating breakfast at the Samoa Cookhouse. Bryan, my host for my stay in Arcata, seemed slightly dubious (saying there were better places to eat in town) but with some gentle coaxing we went on my way out of town. The Samoan Cookhouse is the cookhouse from the logging company that pretty much founded the area. It is done up (or perhaps was never undone to begin with) to be what it was 150 years ago: a place to grab some grub. You get what they give you. It’s one choice for breakfast, one for lunch and one for dinner. You get to decide if you’ll have cream and sugar in your coffee, but the rest is set. The breakfast was great. Scrambled eggs, pancakes and sausages. Yum yum.


The decisive moment when the last sausage is up for grabs. ‘…he better get his eye off that sausage…’



Bryan and I had some interesting conversations regarding the politics & history of the area. And too many like it. It was a great conversation, but, as these things do, it led breakfast toward a mildly bitter-sweet direction. All the spoonfulls of sugar in the world can’t wash down clear cutting and genocide. We can’t dwell there, but we must acknowledge these things if we’re ever to evolve away from them. Don’t dwell. Nuff said.

The drive to my next refuge was a long one with just a couple of stops. I stopped for ice cream n a town called Gaberville and was terrified to find a Burgertime game in the shop. NEXT TO a pinball machine. There are a few moments of strength in my life that I’m very proud of. I have some will power that surprises me sometimes. This was one of those times. The temptation to drop a few coins and a lot of precious time was so overwhelming. But I resisted. The pinball nearly won me over… but, like seeing Hulk Hogan’s shaking hand rise out of a pummeling, my will power pulled me back into the street to take a few photographs and get back on the road. It hurt like hell though.



I then arrived in the San Fransisco suburb of Mill Valley (which seemed to be on a hill… weird) and was very honored to meet the Ruskys who were putting me up for the night. Colonel John’s friend Ed, his wife Eileen and their son Devin made for a wonderful evening. As is part of my deal, in exchange for accommodations in some places I whip up a ‘gourmet’ meal from le Menu chez Trout. The Ruskys ordered the Seafood Pasta (Eileen the Veggie Pasta) and gave compliments to the ‘chef’. I give compliments right back to them as they were wonderful, gracious hosts. I am a very lucky person to have met as many wonderful people as I have thus far on the trip. Really. The derby girls aside, everyone has been great and the only thing I wish is that I had more time to spend with folks. Not enough to wear out my welcome, but just a little bit more time to enjoy good company. In the whirlwind I am sad to have realized that I didn’t take a photo of them for this blog-thing. I have no idea where my head was. Oh yes… on a comfortable pillow.

Posted by Kreddible Trout at 11:59 PM, March 24, 2010

25 March 2010

NEWS - DAY SIX. THE TROUT THAT ATE SAN FRANSISCO


WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG WITH AN IMPORTANT NEWS FLASH! SAN FRANSISCO RESIDENTS WERE LEFT REELING TODAY WHEN AN ENORMOUS GOOF WITH A HAT ON ATTEMPTED TO EAT THEIR FAIR CITY.

REPORTS ARE SKETCHY BUT IT APPEARS THAT THIS GIANT MAN (SOME EYE WITNESSES CLAIM IT TO HAVE BEEN A LARGE TROUT-LIKE CREATURE) ATTEMPTED TO EAT THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.


SCIENTISTS ON THE SCENE (THERE ARE ALWAYS A FEW HANGING AROUND) CLAIM TO HAVE DECIPHERED IT’S BELLOWING CRIES. THEY SAY THAT IT WAS CALLING OUT FOR COFFEE. THAT IT IS NOT NECESSARILY A BAD MONSTER, JUST SLIGHTLY MISUNDERSTOOD AND IN NEED OF IT’S LIFE FORCE: DARK ROAST COFFEE. MORE NEWS AS IT COMES IN BUT IT WAS LAST SEEN HEADING TOWARDS THE LOS ANGELES AREA. SOME OF THE SCIENTISTS SUGGEST THAT THE ONLY HOPE THAT CITY HAS IS FOR CELEBRITIES TO ROUND UP AS MUCH FAIR-TRADE, ORGANIC DARK ROAST COFFEE THEY CAN & CATAPULT IT TOWARDS THE MONSTER AS IT APPROACHES THE CITY. AS HAS BEEN MADE ABUNDANTLY CLEAR THROUGH THEIR HIGHLY PAID PR TEAMS, CELEBRITIES ARE THE BEST CHANCE WE HAVE TO SAVE THE WORLD (SO LONG AS THEY CAN STILL GET TO PILATES BEFORE 5). IT HAS ALSO BEEN SUGGESTED (BY SOME EXTREMELY EXHAUSTED LUNATIC) THAT IN LIEU OF THE CELEBRITY COFFEE CATAPULT IT MAY SETTLE FOR ONE OF MADONNA’S BRASSIERE’S, AN ICE CREAM CONE DATE WITH PEE-WEE HERMAN AND BEING CALLED ‘HOCKEY PUCK’ BY DON RICKLES ONCE. BUT THIS REPORTER WOULD WARN THAT ONLY A LUNATIC WOULD BELIEVE SUCH A LUNATIC.



…and here’s a nice picture in b&w for people who like that sort of thing:

Posted by Kreddible Trout at 1:22 AM, March 25, 2010

29 March 2010

NEWS - DAY SIX, SPEEDOMETER BLUES, CAMARILLO BRILLO AND THE QUEST FOR WHITE VINEGAR

I have to get this off my chest. The one thing that’s really bothered me about this whole ‘America’ thing is it’s lack of white vinegar packets in restaurants. I want vinegar for my fries. When I mention it down here people look at me as though I had 4 heads one of which was their own. It’s not too difficult. They’re like ketchup packets, but instead of ketchup inside it’s white vinegar and it goes on french fries with some salt. It’s how it’s done America. Get a mitt and get in the damn game already!
That’s all. Vinegar. Nuff said.

Next on the old agenda is the post-San Fran drive. It’s a long way from San Fransisco to the Continent of Greater LA. So, it was a long day. There wasn’t much stopping on the way except to eat in a town called Soledad. I was aiming to find an In & Out Burger joint (if you’ve never been to an In & Out burger joint, after people shake off the stunned look, they’re so happy to tell you about how incredible In & Out Burger is… you’ll have to wait for my review because…) but desperation led me to a Carl’s Jr. (kinda confused as to why it’s not Carl Jr’s… I guess the burger is junior…? I dunno.) where, as is par for the course everywhere now, the entire team of customer service specialists were very eager to serve the drive through clientele and leave the sole human standing right in front of them to wait until they had a second. The burger was slightly better than the service. Fast food is fast food. All a variation on the same thing. To be honest, I dunno why I’m still talking about it.
Back on the road. At some point during the day I made an interesting discovery. It seems my speedometer is reading about 7mph faster than I’m actually going so, when I thought I was going 5 - 10 above the speed limit (the real speed limit) I was actually going the posted speed limit. This helped explain why I was always late on my days. That and the frequent coffee stops. And the lallygaggin.
I did not want to be pulling into the Greater LA area at night. I like being able to see when I don’t know where the hell I am. approaching the Ventura/Camarillo area the highways began to get wider and the cars denser. The traffic wasn’t too bad, there was just a lot of it. Eventually I arrived at my next victims’ place (Colonel J’s daughter Leah and her fiancee Derrick) and spent the evening chatting with them. They informed me that Ventura might be a good place for thrift stores…

…thrift stores eh…?

Posted by Kreddible Trout at 1:09 AM, March 29, 2010



29 March 2010

NEWS - DAY SEVEN. THRIFTAPALOOZA 2010, MINT OLYMPUS AND THE FIRST SALE.

I got a late start on the day as I was able to sleep in for the first time in a while. I needed that. The promise of some good thrift store action pulled me out of the house and into Ventura.
By the time I got down there I was starved and in dire need of coffee. Within about 30 minutes on E Main Street I had 2 shot-in-the-darks (‘red eye’, ‘canadianno’… etc.) and was sitting down in a fifties style diner called… something to do with a ‘Bee’… ordering the best club sandwich I’ve had in a long time. (asking for vinegar to no avail). Fifties diners are so much better when the waitresses wear cheerleader uniforms and the tables have mini-jukes on them.


Then, fed and fully caffeinated, I went in search of thrift stores. I noticed one, a pretty big one, and went in. It was the Child Abuse Thrift Store (they really need to come up with a better name… I understand it’s purpose, but it just doesn’t sound right.) I found a handfull of frames that the lovely Sommer (left) rung through for me and walked out to find that there was another thrift store right next door. Dropped off my finds in the Troutmobile and returned to store two where Casey (not left) sold me a couple more. (if either of you are reading this please and your name is mis-spelled, please let me know)

…then it was back up the street to the Troutmobile to throw my booty in the back seat (for you kids out there… ‘booty’ used to mean ‘treasure’… not ‘ass’… my ass goes in the driver’s seat). Then I realized that I was parked right in the middle of thrift store heaven with several on either side of the street. By this point, I figured that I had enough frames but needed to check the places out anyway. Each one was better than the last. It was crazy. I could have spent a thrifty fortune in that town. But I was good.
In the very last one I went into (parking had long past expired and I was risking tickets) I found this little doosie for 8 bucks and couldn’t say no. It’s in pretty good (maybe not ‘mint’) condition.

I had only just found out about these recently as I read an article that said Olympus just re-issued these cameras in digital format. The article explained a bit of the history of the PEN series. The unique (I think it was unique… I didn’t look too much into it) thing about these is that they shot half-frames on 35mm film. So, instead of 24 exposures you’d get 48 pretty interestingly formatted little pictures. Now, I’m a little dubious of this re-issue in digital format as with digital you can:


a) crop it to any dang size you want anyway. You can crop them into a frikken rhombus if you want to.
and
b) shoot how ever dang many shot you want in digital.

…can you say ‘money grab’?

Anyway… I love my new little toy. It took me a while to figure out how to load and have taken a bunch of shots with it since. I will update you all on that when I get it developed.

Then it was back to Camarillo where Leah and Derrick’s friend Jeff joined us for dinner with yours truly whipping up another seafood pasta which went over fairly well I think. Leah and Derrick were wonderful hosts and, when I was leaving the next morning, purchased a framed print out of the trunk of the Troutmobile. Officially marking my first sale of the trip. Thank you both very much. Derrick also loaned me a pair of running shoes as I’d left mine at home and gave me a Jamba Juice (is that what it’s called?) gift card. He’s just that kind of nice.

The next morning I was off to LA…

Posted by Kreddible Trout at 1:47 AM, March 29, 2010

29 March 2010

NEWS - DAY EIGHT. THE CONTINENT OF LA, PARKING IN THE CONTINENT OF LA, SANTA MONICA PIER AND ‘THERE GOES THE NEIGHBOURHOOD’

It is hard to believe but, after a week of practice I finally managed to pull out of town at exactly the time I said I was going to. Hoorah! After a yummy breakfast with Derrick at… some place… and a shady, parking lot art deal, I hit the road spot on… whatever time I had decided to. (It’s been a few days so details are sketchy) Mind you, the trip was only about an hour to The Continent of Los Angeles, but I was still pretty proud of it.

…sometimes I really do feel blessed by the universe. I couldn’t resist pulling a very convoluted U-ey to get this shot. (look carefully)

Why that isn’t the title of my blog I just don’t know. What was I thinking?

Then it was off to my next victim’s house in some pretty swank neighbourhood in Santa Monica (I don’t know that there’s an un-swank neighbourhood there). Robert Larsen is a gifted photojournalistic-y-type-photographer who I met on JPGmag (man… I should have asked JPGmag to sponsor my trip. This blog is a never ending cavalcade of plugs to them.) some years ago and was also a part of the illustrious if somewhat dysfunctional (and now defunct) 15x100 group.
Robert had some things to do in the afternoon and I wanted to go out and play. So I dropped off my stuff at his place and went to the Santa Monica Pier.
Holy crap batman. Six dollars bought me an hour and twenty minutes of parking. Nine dollars bought me a skinny burger, eleven-and-a-half french fries and a pop. It was all worht it though. I know this stuff is par for the course for some of y’all, but to have a roller coaster on a pier is a pretty impressive thing to me. This place was… well, see for yourself:



surf’s up dude! … dude?



It was a crash course as the time constraints and fear of American parking tickets loomed. The following day’s beach outing would prove more fruitful.

On the subject of parking and the means to that end:
I’ve referred to LA as a ‘continent’ as it is so ridiculously huge that it should be called one. Day nine would prove to be more of an eye opener for me in that aspect, but holy crap again batman! Just dinking around in the Santa Monica area was a harrowing experience. There should never have to be this amount of driving. Ever. (I will expand on that later as I’m writing this after my fifth day in Southern California and have much more fodder for that rant.)Driving around I got a lot of down-nose looks at The Troutmobile as we puttered along. Especially in the swank neighbourhood. Returning to Robert’s place I parked the car and walked around the house as some neighbours were pulling out of their driveway. They very literally drove slowly around the block in the same direction I was walking. I guess this time of day all the ‘help’ had gone home so they were wondering what someone who dresses like me & drives an old Hyundai was up to in the neighbourhood. I loved every second of it.
Robert’s mum then took us out for Sushi. Mums are cool like that. The sushi was a welcome meal as the fast-food-burger-to-sushi-ratio was way off balance by this point in the trip.

Then came Hollywood Boulevard on a Friday Night…

Posted by Kreddible Trout at 9:58 PM, March 29, 2010